so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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