Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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