We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
