...so i touched it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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