We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
