Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
