ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
