I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
