So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
