I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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