did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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