i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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