i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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