and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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