Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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