i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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