I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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