I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize