im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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