It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
