"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
