Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
