A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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