I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
