Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
