Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize