we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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