Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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