I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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