apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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