i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
