I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
