In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I looked at my own cervix.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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