respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila