Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
