Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
