What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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