Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
