Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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