I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sponge bath it is.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
