I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
