Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Someone signed my nipple.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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