Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
