I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
