I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
