Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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