I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
