I look better un-naked...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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