Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
