I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
