i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
