I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
