i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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