please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
