why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
