i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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