I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
