Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
