Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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