I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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