And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
