I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
