put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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