As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
