He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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